Spiritual Ponderings

Be of sober spirit, be on the alert. Your adversary, the devil, prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. (1 Peter 5:8) For some reason today I became curious about this text and decided to look up some of the original words from which it was translated. I wondered if this word roaring really meant what it seems to mean. At this point I cannot find any reason to see that it means anything differently. However, as I looked over some of the other words I came across something quite interesting. The word for prowls , or walks as it is rendered in the KJV, actually has much more behind it than can been seen in the English translation. It actually includes the idea of almost strutting around in a way to impress others of his strength or prowess, to try to convince others of his ability. This would go along with the roaring part of the verse because lions who are seriously hunting don't actually roar while they stalk their prey, they hunt very stealthily ...

I had a train of thoughts invade my head recently and need to lay them out to help me understand them in a more logical way. So I took some time to rough them out in a table format that is helpful for me to see their relationships better. Path of forgiveness Path of assumed “justice” Choice of injured Reaction in offender Choice of injured Reaction in offender Forgiveness Surprise, confusion Blame Defensiveness Taking ownership and responsibility for the pain Attraction toward reconciliation Resentment souring into bitterness Self-justification, pride, legal shelters Give the pain to Jesus – release offender of responsibility Faced with making a choice how to respond Relive the pain, focus on wounds, attempts to inflict even more pain on others Fear, denial, withdrawal ...

All that the world could endure of their Redeemer was the few years He was with them upon the earth, and they wanted to get rid of Him almost as soon as His mission commenced. . . . The question that every one of us has to settle is: Am I prepared for the coming of the Son of man? If you have accepted your Saviour by living faith, if you have repented of your sins, then you are in a position of acceptance with God so that if Christ should come you would meet Him in peace . . . . {CTr 216} I read these words in a devotional book I am following this year and it really got my attention in a number of ways. First, it addresses one of the deepest fears and frustrations that has plagued me for nearly all of my life – how to find assurance of eternal life and acceptance with God. Secondly, although it necessarily uses some religious words and phrases that have been seriously hijacked by cultural religion, it addresses some of the lies about God and the contrast between what we have ...

I got up and 2 AM after being woken by the neighbor dogs crying together. I realized that all my dreams had been about being chained to a guard and being led around to various circumstances involving courts or meeting places. I feel that in my heart I am a prisoner chained to fear that I cannot escape from at this point. My heart is still resisting words of God and my faith is still weak. My mind can choose what to dwell on when I am awake to some extent but my heart is in charge when I am asleep. So what I dream about is a much stronger indicator of what my heart is really thinking about and believing. Then when I am awake the choices that my mind makes can either reinforce or counteract the directions that my heart is taking my life. In one way it is very frustrating to find my heart so often controlling the direction of my imagination and trying to run scenarios that quickly amplify my fears. In addition, demons are always waiting nearby to jump in and accelerate this fear cy...

Blessed are those who have been persecuted for the sake of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. (Matthew 5:10) I have struggled with this text for a long time. Much of the persecution, as much as it has been over the past years, has involved areas of life not directly related to obedience to the Spirit and Word of God but to maintaining a position of being technically and morally right in more political arenas. This has put me in the sights of a number of aggressive predators over the years and has created a great deal of emotional anguish and even physical pain at times. All along the way I agonized over whether I should continue in the path that I had started on and each time I felt that the only right option I had was to base my life on what was true and to follow my conscience even though it would put me in never-ending conflict with civil authorities and ruthless corporations. What has happened is that I have been persecuted for trying to stand up for right b...

I want to capture what God is doing in my heart and mind while it is still fresh. The contrast between yesterday morning and this morning is stark, like night and day. Yesterday morning I literally writhed in confusion, fear, inner turmoil and demonic assaults that kept escalating. I could not find any peace all day long and I could not eat a single bite of food. This morning I woke up in the peace of God after a restful sleep like I have not had in weeks. I woke up in gratitude for the protection of God from the mental harassment I experienced yesterday and began communing with God about what He wanted me to do now. I have not appreciated peace so much as I do today after the frightening attacks that I endured all day yesterday. (During His temptation in the wilderness, Jesus) would not force Providence to come to His rescue, and thus fail of giving us an example of trust and submission . (CTr 194) On the next page I find a fascinating definition of ministry. (The angels)...

I want to be mentored and learn more about this thing called the law of kindness . There are repeated times when I am confronted by the fact that even though the information that I want to share with others may be ever so correct and needed, my lack of a spirit of kindness, gentleness and caring causes many to discount or even resent what it is that I am trying to convey. I could easily launch into a long explanation of why I am this way at this point in my life. I could rehash the lack of examples in my life, the effects of legalism, the empty, aching chasms inside my emotional makeup that cause me to unconsciously be too forceful in my dealings with others. But I have done that for years and it does little but to educate me as to where some of the roots of my problems stem from. But what I really want and need is a radically new perspective, new motives, increased passion for caring about other people's hearts and more sensitivity. As I describe all of these things they so...