The Thread of Seventy Sevens

I just realized another significant insight into this core concept of forgiveness that I am beginning to see is far more central to living as a true Christian than most are willing to believe. But these insights are also revealing the falsity of many of the methods and counsel that admired leaders in the church are promoting instead of leading people to experience real forgiveness.

It was pointed out in the devotional book Snapshots of God that very early on in the history of this world the idea of blood vengeance was taking deep root in the psyche of humanity. After killing Abel and then living in constant fear of someone taking revenge against him for that heartless murder, Cain was assured that if anyone killed him they would suffer seven times as much in retribution. A few verses later we find this number going exponential as Lamech declares that any vengeance against him would be returned seventy times worse than for Cain.

This way of evening the score continues yet to this day in certain parts of the world. It is seen as the responsibility of member of the aggrieved party to bring about “peace” by avenging the rights of the wounded person upon the perpetrator (and family). That was how wrongs were righted, how atonement was made, how forgiveness was achieved. (Snapshots of God p. 80)

All of this thinking revolves around the very same foundational principle that we still live under today in this world, the principle that underlies our whole justice system, the assumption that there is some imaginary scale that must be kept in balance. So if someone creates a debt against us in any way, i.e. by robbing us of some part of our sense of value, it is then determined that the only way to restore 'balance' is for society or the offended party to inflict at least the same amount of damage if not much more against the offender so as to 'secure justice'.

This whole idea of balancing the score is viewed as a protection against anarchy. The whole concept is totally based on producing enough fear so as to keep people from taking advantage of others or exploiting them in some way. Fear of retribution is the thing our fallen nature relies on the most as our best defense against others sinning against us. Without this shield of threat of retaliation we are almost certain that we will be vulnerable to being exploited, hurt or even killed at any moment. This fear of vengeance becomes the god we rely on to protect us from other sinners.

Because this fundamental threat seems to work for us and society, those who have a heightened sense of fear because they have offended others or have committed crimes themselves desire an even greater level of protection than simply threats to only even the score or balance the scales. If a little fear provides a sense of security for the average person, then it is assumed that one who is already caught up in a feud must require a much greater level of intimidation against anyone who might desire to use this principle to seek vengeance against them. So the ante is increased seven times. But when that does not seem enough to feel safe it is increased even more by seventy times that much.

What does all this reveal about what is going on deep inside our hearts? It exposes our intense reliance on fear and force as the only reliable power sufficient to be trusted to preserve what life we already are trying to hang onto. Because we will not trust and fully submit to God and live in harmony with His principles, the only alternative is to immerse ourselves in the alternative system that is based on fear rather than forgiveness. This may seem very logical and even sound spiritual, but it is still a counterfeit.

I am starting to see that this is a deep thread that runs all throughout history. Cain starts out with a fear factor of seven times what might be viewed as fair – a one for one exchange. This is seven times (the number considered perfect or complete) the level of what is seen in the instructions of an eye for and eye and a tooth for a tooth. But the deeper humanity sinks into violence against one another the greater the desire for ever increasing levels of fear needed to ward off anyone seeking retaliation against us. So the multiplier itself is increased tenfold so that it now comes out as seventy sevens. (Most translations render Lamech's statement as only 77, but the original can also be interpreted as seventy sevens.)

Interestingly this shows up again in a prophecy in the book of Daniel. But this time we begin to see the reversal process that God is implementing to counter this principle of revenge and vengeance that is so pervasive in our thinking. Daniel is told that this number of seventy-sevens is now going to be connected to the coming Messiah, the one who will reverse the curse and who will reveal the true principle of heaven's kingdom that can counteract our fear of vengeance.

At first this number seems only associated with a time period. But the time period itself is linked to events directly connected to offenses in the minds of God's called out people the Israelites. This time period begins with an event where God intervenes to counter the damage created by the sins and apostasy of His chosen people that has gotten them into deep trouble and even captivity. God is seeking throughout history to unveil the principles that will counteract the principles that humanity has come to depend on so fully, this principle of fear, force and revenge. God's antidote to all of this is to bring into our lives the great principle of forgiveness and healing and restoration, restoring us back into the role He desires for us to fulfill through humble dependency on Him rather than depending on the fear factor.

So the prophetic seventy weeks begins with the releasing of the captive Israelites from the bondage of Babylon as the starting point for the timeline that defines how long they are given to repent and embrace His way of living rather than their own ways. The angel tells Daniel that this time period will be defined by the same number that has been connected to the whole concept of vengeance, retaliation, force and revenge. But this time the number is to be linked to a new concept, a different way of relating to offenses and sins. This time the number involves grace, forgiveness and a time of probation in which offenders are given more opportunity to embrace a radically different way of relating to their Creator and to each other.

These numbers show up very interestingly again in the middle of a discussion about offenses and forgiveness between the Messiah who came to finalize this offer with His chosen people and His disciples who were still living under the alternate system of thinking. Peter was one person who was very familiar with the principle of revenge and the desire for retaliation of personal grievances. But after hanging around with Jesus for several years he was beginning to perceive that maybe there was a different option for living, but he still was very vague on what that looked like. But taking a stab in the dark during a detailed discourse by Jesus about how to deal with offenses the right way, Peter offered up what he assumed was a generous magnanimity by suggesting that maybe seven times to forgive might be the right direction to go.

This sevenfold level of forgiveness is a parallel to the sevenfold vengeance that first began with Cain. It was certainly a move in the right direction, but as Jesus quickly pointed out humanity was far past the level of the simple seven at that point. The principle of vengeance from man's perspective is so deeply ingrained in our psyche and woven into the fabric of what we assume is justice that a far more radical response is needed to address this problem. Cain had upped the number to seven but Lamech with his two wives and his fear of retribution for someone he had murdered himself during an attack on him had increased that number by seventy times. It was now time for Jesus to make clear that salvation was going to address the much larger number if it was to be effective in reversing the level of the curse in our thinking regarding this issue of vengeance, revenge and offenses.

What this is outlining is the deep issue of how we are going to choose to relate to offenses in our lives. Early on sinners chose to relate to offenses by seeking revenge and using threats of multiplied revenge as their primary defense to protect themselves from the increasing dangers created by this very principle. But to reverse the curse of sin that is rooted in fear and force and deception, God is introducing a new (to us) principle that is exactly opposite of what comes natural to the fallen sinful heart. Jesus clearly spells out that to the same level we have depended on desires for vengeance to protect us, we must now let go of our dependency on that as our protection in order to be released from the hold that all of this false system has over our lives.

Trusting in the fear factor as our defense is to embrace the principles of the kingdom of Satan. We are very familiar with these principles whether we can articulate them clearly or not. The kingdoms of this world are all guided by the false principles that we assume are justice. But the justice that comes from heaven is radically different in nature and function than what we think of as justice. That is why many who catch a glimpse of what constitutes heaven's justice turn away from it in disgust because they desire a more violent system of retribution than what God intends to carry out. This thinking and disdain for the truth about heaven's justice system has led most to embrace a theory of religion and a view of God's character that reflects more our principles of vengeance. We want God to do things our way, to avenge us against our enemies, not to embrace them and forgive them and allow them to escape punishment. We want to see them suffer like we have suffered and anything short of this is scandalous and we turn away from it to embrace concepts of religion that better suit our cravings for revenge.

This is why it is so necessary for one to be born all over again if they ever hope to enter into the true kingdom of heaven. The thinking and logic of the true system from heaven is so out of touch with how our minds operate that we cannot assimilate it into our current way of reasoning. Only by scrapping everything we have believed altogether and allowing God to birth us into a completely new paradigm of logic can we ever hope to understand and function in reliance on the principles that govern the rest of God's family in the unfallen universe.

We are now witnessing the fact that even the greatest revelation of truth about God's principles, the life and death of His own Son who perfectly revealed His true character has now become so distorted by our false interpretations of what He was all about that again God has to come to show the world the real truth about the Father. But this time He is coming through the lives and hearts of people who are willing enough to humble themselves, discard their preconceptions about Him and allow Him full access to their lives so that He can again demonstrate before an unbelieving, hostile world that the principles of God's kingdom really do work to replace the principles of fear and revenge.

God knows that we are so addicted to our desires for and belief in vengeance and that our concepts of justice are so skewed that it is not safe for us to trust in any of our natural instincts in this regard. This side of heaven it is simply best to leave the whole issue of payback to Him altogether. Never take your own revenge, beloved, but leave room for the wrath of God, for it is written, "VENGEANCE IS MINE, I WILL REPAY," says the Lord. (Romans 12:19)

Jesus words to His disciples reveal that it is necessary to take this principle the full way to the extent that we have embraced the false system that is based on fear. It is not enough to just forgive, to forgo taking vengeance into our own hands once or even seven times. What Jesus is saying here is that to the same level that we have been trusting in vengeance as our means of protection, we now must trust in God alone and release all of our desires for revenge to Him and embrace only His ways of relating to our enemies and those who have wounded and offended us.

We will either rely on fear, intimidation, force and will engage in taking things into our own hands one way or another; or we must be willing to lay down our weapons and threats and completely rely on God to be our defender. What frightens us much of the time is that we know that there are times when God allows people to hurt those under His protection while seeming to stand back indifferently. We don't like that kind of vulnerability and we want to be able to control how God protects us as well as believing in His power to protect us.

But this too is a means of avoiding complete dependency on God. If we want to live in dependent relationship on God but still want to be able to make the final decisions as to what that should look like in our lives, then we are still not fully submitted in trust that He has our best interest in mind in all of His dealings with us. We are still not willing to believe that even if He allows us to suffer, even to be killed, that His heart is still worthy of our implicit trust even when we can't make sense out of it all. To do this means that we will always forgo vengeance, but beyond that we will emulate the example of Jesus and freely forgive without ever holding onto any offenses.

To this you were called, because Christ suffered for you, leaving you an example, that you should follow in his steps. "He committed no sin, and no deceit was found in his mouth." When they hurled their insults at him, he did not retaliate; when he suffered, he made no threats. Instead, he entrusted himself to him who judges justly. He himself bore our sins in his body on the tree, so that we might die to sins and live for righteousness; by his wounds you have been healed. (1 Peter 2:21-24 NIV)

The core issue that every person must face and decide on is whether they can trust their life with an unseen God who claims that He will ultimately bring about what is best in spite of what circumstances may insinuate about Him and in spite of all the negative rumors and beliefs circulating about what He is like. He has provided enough evidence of His trustworthiness in His Word and through experiences in life to give us a foundation upon which to base our faith in Him. But there are always going to be reasons to doubt these truths about Him and we will always have to make a choice to trust Him sometimes in spite of apparently conflicting evidence according to our way of reasoning.

We can either continue to trust in the principle of vengeance, depending on fear, intimidation or even isolation as the methods we will trust to protect us from pain and suffering. But we should not lie to ourselves by thinking that this is a legitimate option we can exercise while claiming to belong to God's family. These are not God's principles but are the common principles used in this world that seem to make more sense to us than God's ways. Sure we can find abundant support and reinforcement for this way of relating to offenses, but we should not fool ourselves into believing that this is from God.

Jesus spelled out clearly the outline of heaven's ways of relating to offenses, and demonstrated it in His own life. The early New Testament church experienced that truth so profoundly that it electrified all those who really took hold of it. The power of God became so alive in the lives of those early believers who embraced these principles based on love and forgiveness that thousands were drawn to join them in short order. But since that time religion has increasingly suffocated the light of truth that so radicalized those early believers and now we find ourselves in a condition almost identical to what the Jews were in during the time of Christ. We are now resistant to believing in the radical truths that Jesus put forward and have sought to water them down to make them more palatable with our cravings for revenge. Radical forgiveness has morphed into an ineffective shell of its original substance and few even understand the real truth of what it involves. We still want to rely on our false god of fear to protect us while desiring to be viewed as loyal citizens of God's kingdom at the same time. But from heaven's view this is impossible and in the end such thinking will finally be seen as high treason.

If we want to be true followers of Jesus we absolutely cannot avoid obeying His words and instructions. Jesus said we must deny ourselves, take up our cross and follow Him. Jesus' demonstration of total forgiveness, non-violence and complete lack of any desire for vengeance that was seen at the cross is what He was referring to when He said we must take up our cross. We must be filled with that same spirit that is free of all desire for vengeance against those who mistreat and abuse us if we are to live free of offense in the kingdom where Jesus is the king. All those who claim to live in that kingdom must allow themselves to be infused with the very same spirit and thinking and disposition that is in the King Himself. This is the only way that perfect harmony and love and peace can exist in God's universe. All other alternatives are doomed to fail and will only lead to pain, destruction and finally permanent death.

Are Victims Better Than Abusers?

There is a dangerous trap in popular Christian thinking that subtly infers that only victims are qualified to experience forgiveness and salvation. We like to amplify our solidarity with victims, to show compassion to them, to assure them of God's grace and healing and power to restore. But at the very same time it is all too easy to fall into the trap of viewing victims as somehow more righteous or innocent or worthy of our compassion than we feel toward those we consider perpetrators or abusers. We indulge readily in prejudice, animosity and even outright hatred at times toward those we consider dangerous and ready to exploit other people. We garner recognition by showing sympathy for the victims but we do not share such magnanimity toward those who have abused them. Rather we are quick to judge, to label, to ostracize and to seek punishment for all who in our eyes are not as worthy of grace or in need of healing.

Many know in their head that perpetrators are usually victims themselves simply recycling the dysfunction that they themselves have endured in the past. Yet we like to vilify the abusers while aligning ourselves with the victims. This is popular and offer solidarity and seeming comfort to the victims. But is this really helping the victims or does it foster a similar spirit of unforgiveness toward those who have offended them and actually creates more problems while trying to address some. What I am learning is that this is not the way heaven views things.

Jesus did not die on the cross to bear the pain and shame of only the victims but equally took on the pain and shame and guilt of all those who have committed offenses no matter how grievous. But knowing this we still tend to want to qualify our own administration of God's grace and offer it more readily to those we consider more worthy while choosing instead to offer mostly condemnation toward those we consider less worthy. But this is a tragic misrepresentation of God and blocks many from seeing the hope of healing and redemption they need to escape a life of abuse and crime.

I am not referring in the slightest to the abuses and miscarriages of so-called earthly justice where perpetrators get away with crimes because of their ability to manipulate the system in their favor. I am speaking directly to how Christians should view and relate to people based on the way heaven sees things. When we engage in earthly attitudes toward sinners of any stripe, categorizing them in a hierarchy of importance or value, we stray from the reality of the unconditional nature of God's love and forgiveness and present a very damaging picture of God to those who need Him most.

It is so easy to join in with the crowd in condemning the guilty and rushing to the aid of the victim. But the person who has come to know the true nature of God's grace will realize that the perpetrators are in as much need of healing if not more than the victims. A true follower of Jesus will also realize that condemnation never produces repentance and God does not engage in such tactics to draw us to Him. This view of God is part of the system of misrepresentations about Him created by His enemy and is not found in the life of Jesus His Son. As professed Christians we are so often eager to recommend punishments for those we consider evil and are often unwilling to restrain our expressions of disgust. But if we really knew Jesus ourselves wouldn't we rather look more into ways we might bring the healing grace and love of God into those lives as well.

By indulging in criticism of abusers while showing favor toward victims, we give the impression that healing grace is more readily available to victims than to abusers. This characterizes God as being partial and forces people caught in the cycle of abuse to try to reshape their public image as more of a victim themselves if they want to receive the help they need. But as they discover that few are willing to see their real pain, accept them with their problems and are just as worthy of attention and help as those whom they have victimized, many give up hoping for help and simply throw themselves into a life of more exploitation of others in hopes that the little pleasure they gain from it will somehow assuage the pain that is ever growing inside their souls.

Jesus never treated anyone differently based on an evaluation of whether they were more guilty or deserving of punishment than someone else. He never endorsed human views of justice and mercy measurement scales. Jesus scandalized both the religiously influential and the politically powerful by ignoring all the artificial boundaries they had set up to evaluate and condemn others. Rather He went straight for the heart of each person without regard to their relative innocence or guilt and considered everyone equal opportunities in need of healing, grace, love, acceptance and hope.

Those claiming to be followers of Jesus cannot do any less if they want heaven to view them as faithful. We cannot indulge in condemning what is popular to condemn simply because we can. Jesus' standards of evaluation are radically different than those of popular Christianity despite its claims to represent Him. Jesus made no distinction between wounded and wounder; He applied His healing grace equally to every single individual sinner.

We are very uncomfortable with this flat playing field. It implies that we could be considered by heaven just as guilty as those around us that we prefer to disdain and vilify. To avoid this we resort to our own versions of qualified grace, qualified acceptance and qualified forgiveness. But in doing so we use the system invented by Satan himself and often without realizing it we perpetuate his many lies that has already given God a bad reputation with sinners.

There are certain classes of sinners that it is popular to vilify without risking censure from other Christians. Little resistance is met if we condemn abortionists, homosexuals, child-molesters, sexual abusers among clergy or rapists. But from heaven's viewpoint are these people really worse sinners than others who piously heap condemnation on them while wrapping themselves in sympathy for their victims? We like recognition from those we serve in church while throwing jabs at those we consider hopeless sinners. But is this a reflection of the Jesus who found Himself often at odds with the religious elite while acting like honey for flies attracting all the wrong sorts of people around Him?

Maybe a more accurate measurement of our Christ-likeness might be to observe how many prostitutes, abusers, rapists, homosexuals and financial rip-offs are drawn into our circle of friends because of our love and acceptance for them. The very idea sounds scandalous, but it is a far more accurate standard of measurement than the ones we use now to determine who is Christian or not. If our lives do not produce similar effects in the hearts of the same kinds of people that Jesus attracted, then the chances that we are not really representing Him are extremely high.

I believe it is long past time that we allow God to reintroduce Himself to us. It has been too long since Jesus demonstrated the truth about God on this planet and since that day so many misinterpretations have been infused into His story that we have nearly lost sight altogether of what He was really like and how He related to sinners. We need to humble ourselves, to confess our hypocrisy, our religious pride, our shallowness, our double-standards and our ignorance of the ways of God and to seek His face and plead with Him to show us again the real truth about Him that will attract all brands of sinners into His grace, not just the ones we prefer to work with.

Not until the abuser, the rapist, the child-molestor, the financial scammer, the pimps are gravitating toward us instead of away from us can be begin to believe we may be following in the example of the One who attracted those very same kinds of people to Himself 2000 years ago. We should disabuse ourselves of the mistaken belief that we are Christians when our lives have so little similarity to Jesus' ministry for others and His passion to vindicate His Father's reputation that marked His life. Not until we confess our unlikeness to Jesus can we ever hope to begin to learn the real truth that He came to show us about God. Modern Christianity has little attraction for sinners because Christians have little resemblance to the Christ that Christianity claims to represent.

Facing Frustration in a New Way

I had a very hard time waking up this morning. I knew that I had to get to work earlier than usual and yet every time I tried to awaken enough to get out of bed the tiredness just kept pushing me back into dreamland.

Each time I felt nudged to get up by the Spirit I would began talking with God. I usually talk with God extensively every morning before I get up, but this time instead of making me more awake my praises and requests only slipped me back into sleep again. I knew what was happening but seemed incapable of arousing enough will-power to overcome my lethargy.

At one point I was reminded that if I would just exert enough effort to keep my eyes open that more energy would soon become available to make another step toward getting up. Then the truth of this stirred me as I realized that the same is true of my spiritual lethargy. If I can only focus on having my spiritual eyes opened more to both my own true condition but even more so to the real truth about God and His feelings towards me, then everything else will come into perspective in time. It is my spiritual darkness and blindness that prevents most of my growth and keeps me deceived into thinking that I am O.K. the way I am.

After finally getting up and opening the devotional for today in the book Jesus Calling, I was encouraged to see another affirmation that God knows and listens to my thoughts and comments to Him. While I was trying to awaken I had quoted from the Psalms the verse, This is the day the Lord has made; let us be glad and rejoice in it. (Psalm 118:24) Within the message from Jesus for me in this reading was the very same reference. When this kind of thing happens it always serves as a reminder that Jesus knows ahead of time what message I am going to read and at times puts it into my mind earlier just to remind me of His love so that I can be encouraged to trust Him more.

I am currently struggling to relate properly with a right spirit to a current frustrating situation with the electrician that is supposed to finish up his work at the church. I am almost finished with all the other work, but the electrician seems to refuse to communicate with me. It seems that he is deliberately avoiding my calls and when I do get through on rare occasion the promises he makes to show up never materialize as happened again yesterday.

My temptation is to react the 'normal' way – to get frustrated, upset, suspicious and to start scheming as to how I can accomplish this job without him. I pray and I try everything I can think of to get him to cooperate with us but so far nothing has worked.

Yet through all of this frustration and dysfunction I sense that the real issue has far more to do with my own character training than it has to do with finishing up the remodeling project on the church building. Oh yes, have I forgotten? I have been asking God repeatedly to work a remodeling project in my own heart and in the hearts of all of our members even more thoroughly than what has been taking place physically in the church building. So it should come as no surprise at all if Jesus is answering my prayers. But now how am I going to cooperate with Him?

It is time for me to grow up some more, I can see. It is not enough to allow myself to react with the typical responses that rise up out of frustration and irritation with this man. It is not even enough to try to make excuses for him or to figure out which conspiracy theory he might be involved in that would explain his seemingly strange behavior. None of these will help me to mature and strengthen my own character. He is not the problem here not matter how obvious that may seem. I must learn to keep very focused on Jesus and keep reminding myself to seek His perspective rather than on my own as I am so used to relying on to view things.

At times it seems easier to do that. I begin to sense my need to be very patient with him, to demonstrate not only to him but to everyone aware of this situation the way Jesus relates to us. I am reminded of Moses who was reprimanded by God after he struck the rock instead of speaking to it. God did not scold him for disobeying him so much as He rather expressed keen disappointment that Moses had failed to represent the real attitude and patience of God under pressure.

Moses knew God better than nearly any man who has ever lived. He was not like the average person who has dark, distorted ideas about God, for Moses had come to the place in his life where he had begun to consistently reflect the true spirit of God repeatedly under increasingly difficult situations and in dealing with outrageously cantankerous and negative people. Moses had allowed God's influence on his heart to so transform him that God had allowed him to face increasingly hostile situations, trusting Moses to demonstrate in ever-increasing clarity the beauty of God's character and the strength of God's love and patience in contrast to the stubbornness and hostility of those rebellious 'children'.

But when it came to one of the most discouraging and difficult tests that pushed Moses to the breaking point, instead of keeping his focus entirely on what he knew God to be like from personal experience with Him, Moses allowed his human nature to rise up and cause him to react in kind to the angry spirit that the Children of Israel was demonstrating toward him and toward God. Thus, in a moment of frustration and weakness Moses allowed the overwhelming negativity and complaining around him to affect his choices and reactions rather than keeping his perspective grounded in God's presence. As a result he acted rashly and spoke words that he very soon regretted.

Not only did Moses disappoint God's trust in him but he also strengthened the lies of the enemy about how God feels toward rebellious sinners in the minds and hearts of millions of people both then and throughout history ever since. Elijah likewise made an ill-advised move to take things into his own hands just when God could have demonstrated a spectacular display of self-control to reveal one of the most profound truths about God that this world needs to see clearly. Moses' sin had far more to do with the message conveyed by his attitudes and actions under frustrating pressure from others than it had to do with not strictly following instructions or rules.

Being aware of these things, I find myself in a very small way facing a similar test of my own. I sense that God is allowing this situation to drag on to see if I am ready to put into practice what He has been teaching me over the past few months and years about this very issue. Am I ready to brace my heart to keep focused on the goodness of God and His ability to deal with any situation no matter how frustrating? Or like Moses and Elijah, great men of faith as they were, am I going to allow the malfunction of others to arouse my reactive sinful nature to misrepresent God under pressure and miss my own chance to practice what I have been 'preaching' for some time?

Not everyone is trusted with this kind of test by God. It is those who are being advanced to deeper levels of trust that must be tested to see if they are ready to move on to another level of training, just as tests are required in school to determine when a person is ready to move to the next grade. God has been extremely gracious to me by providing me with many insights that many others have not yet seen. Rather than feel pride in my heart for this, I need to view this privilege as a responsibility to deepen the integration between my own mind and heart where my emotions affect my reactions under pressure. Am I willing to let God implant these truths I have been learning in my head deeper into the atmosphere of my heart and spirit where they are intended to operate most effectively?

Father, I perceive – at least as much as I can in the moment – that what I really need is humility, total dependence and trust in Your heart, and peace of mind that passes all understanding in this situation. I need all of these things in order to counteract the natural reactions that I am so used to having and that even sometimes seem reasonable according to the perspective of many around me.

Yet I sense that I must be very wary of taking things into my own hands like You have shown me was the mistake of both Moses and Elijah. And while You can still accomplish Your will even when I do make the wrong choices, Your reputation suffers an unneeded setback whenever I misrepresent You after trying to speak so much in Your favor.

I know that there is a great deal of suspicion and resistance to the truths about You that I try to share with others. These revelations about Your character and Your ways are not welcome in standardized religion and any who promote such teachings are soon viewed as undermining the faith of believers. Yet I am coming to realize that in reality religion has left us indeed poor, blind, naked and wretched while completely oblivious to our condition just as You said. We desperately need eyesalve from You to heal the deep darkness of spiritual blindness so we can see our desperate condition and turn to You for healing.

Yet through all of this increasing revelation of my real problems and similar ones in those around me, You want me to lead by example as well as sharing from my head what I am learning. I must be willing to have You transform my heart, my attitudes, my reactions under pressure or else all my assertions about Your ways loses credibility. You want to grow me to the point where You can begin to trust me more to represent the truth about You in the ways I respond under frustrating circumstances such as what I am facing right now, in order to better demonstrate these truths about You in actions and attitudes even more than through words.

Father, You know my heart far better than I do and You know how weak and vulnerable I am to slipping into old habits of reacting. What I need more than anything is to have a much closer connection with Your heart, to sense moment by moment a keen awareness of Your love for me and the value that You have for me personally. It is a lack of this sense of being valued by You that lies at the root of all sin and I long to live more consistently in Your presence in a secure sense of Your love for me. This is the only real solution to prepare me for the daily tests and trials that You allow to come to strengthen and deepen my character to reflect what I am learning about You.

Father, I desperately need healing for the deeply-seated selfishness that permeates every part of my makeup. I see it everywhere I look inside and I often wonder if You haven't taken on more than is possible when You propose to transform me into Your selfless likeness. But I have to trust that You can do what You say You can do in me because You have infinite resources and the power of Your love is beyond measure. Your power lies in the transformational ability of Your love and Your presence to heal and change the most proud, stubborn, damaged heart and character and to bring such an one to perfectly reflect Your beauty and glory when You are allowed to have Your way.

Have Your way in me God, and demonstrate Your kindness, Your graciousness, Your forgiveness and Your patience through me as I face this day and all that it has in store. Reveal Yourself through me today so that others might catch a clearer glimpse of the real truth about You, not just in my claims but by my allowing You to actualize those claims in my new reactions to problems in my life. Do this for Your reputation's sake, Amen.