Spiritual Ponderings

My mind is continuing my ongoing intense conversation with Jesus this morning. I am still seeking to know the next phase of my journey to real freedom. I reviewed yesterday's idea of Jesus identifying Himself with my enemies thereby placing Himself directly in the line of fire of my own anger and hatred against them. Of course that puts me in an immediate quandary for He is now saying that if I have something ugly to say or if I have even a secret desire to retaliate or commit violence as an act of revenge against someone, that He expects me to take it out on Him as their substitute. Yet that violates my own intense sense of justice, the very sense of fairness that was violated when they abused me. I go back and review the passage that He has been using with me throughout this current session. And the king will answer them, 'Truly I tell you, just as you did it to one of the least of these who are members of my family, you did it to me.' Then he will answer them...

I have been having an ongoing argument at various times with Jesus over the past few days or so. I know, some may think this is not such a good idea, but I am coming to realize that Jesus is not offended by us talking back when it is done in a spirit of honesty and searching. There are examples of people in the Bible who got into it with God and He seemed to rather relish the interactions sometimes. This is part of my liberation from false fears about God getting angry that are melting away as the truth keeps warming up. Anyway, back to the main point. I have been having some intense issues raising up inside of me over the past few months that have not been resolved or healed. I keep talking to God about these things and often feel very frustrated that I am not healing very fast. Maybe I am making incremental progress, I am not even sure about that at times. But I realize more and more that this intense issue inside of me holds the potential to destroy my life if it is not dealt w...

No matter what changes God has wrought in you, never rely upon them, build only on a Person, the Lord Jesus Christ, and on the Spirit He gives. All our vows and resolutions end in denial because we have no power to carry them out. When we have come to the end of ourselves, not in imagination but really, we are able to receive the Holy Spirit. “ Receive ye the Holy Ghost”—the idea is that of invasion. There is only one lodestar in the life now, the Lord Jesus Christ. Chambers, Oswald: My Utmost for His Highest : Selections for the Year . Grand Rapids, MI : Discovery House Publishers, 1993, c1935, S. January 5 I am learning – yet I still feel I am peering through a lot of fog. Sometimes I wonder if I may be slipping into too much introspection or at least getting somewhat out of balance if there is such a thing as balance in this area. I need to get a much clearer heart picture of Jesus' heart and what His feelings and attitudes and thoughts are toward me. I still feel I n...

I am beginning to realize more keenly that I have been trained to depend on fault-finding and a critical attitude as my primary defense against being deceived by other religions and false doctrines. Fear of being deceived, of being drawn away from 'the truth' has long been touted as a reason to encourage prejudices against anyone not of my denomination. It seemed to be considered as something of a safeguard to protect us who believed in the only 'truth' as we always have felt we were defined our subculture. This is not to say that everyone belonging to my church felt or feels this way. I simply reflect the particular mentality of those I grew up around which in those days were the vast majority in my church if I am not mistaken. That mentality is still quite alive and well, but it is also not exclusive to my particular church. I have seen this same attitude and defensiveness and fear in people from other groups and other cultures as well all around the world. Bu...